Will He or Won't He Call?

If you haven’t switched over to hi-speed internet access, living in the world of dial-up is tough enough, but are you wasting your time waiting by the phone?
We’ve all been there, wondering if he’s going to call and when. It’s just another reason to celebrate being single. The limbo waiting room doesn’t exist anymore. Here’s Michaela’s story . . .
It was a gloomy, rainy day, of course. I had just interviewed for a great job with a fashion manufacturer, who said they would contact me by the end of the week. I wanted this job and needed more money, plus the wardrobe comps were very generous. The interview was on Tuesday, but let me tell you about Wednesday.

I had been dating Tim for almost a year. He was notorious for never calling, so I always found myself being the more assertive partner in the relationship. Tim seemed happy for me that I’d finally landed the interview and I moped around the house all of Wednesday, wishing that he’d at least call and ask how it went.

I mean, what does he do all the time? Is he sitting around hoping I’ll call or maybe just thinking that I’ll call eventually, so he won’t worry about it? Watching out the window at the pouring rain, I made a promise to myself that I would not call him. Let’s just see if he really cares about me, I thought.

After finishing off half a bag of potato chips, I stood in front of the refrigerator, planning on the feast I would have with what was left of the chocolate chip ice cream. Instead, I broke my promise to myself and grabbed the phone. I called Tim and got his voicemail, but didn’t leave a message. An hour later, I called his cell phone and left a short message, just saying that it was me calling. I became so angry that he never offered me any emotional support, I decided not to dare call him again and not to answer the phone if it rang.

Around 3:30, that afternoon, the phone rang, but I let the voicemail capture the call. I became so furious with not only Tim, but myself for being so weak, I didn’t check the message. I assumed that I wouldn’t hear from the employer until Friday, certain that if the phone actually rang, it would be Tim or my mother.

I finally checked the messages later on Thursday to learn I’d missed my opportunity for the new position. My obsession over Tim cost me the chance for my new job, as it was the employer who had called. The message stated that they had experienced such an unbelievable response to the job opening, they would need to hear back from me right away, by 5pm that day, otherwise the job would go to the second most valuable candidate.

So, that was Thursday and by Friday, Tim had never called.

Cut Your Grocery Bill in Half!

How much do you think you could save on your grocery bill every month?
If you’re currently putting out close to $600 every four weeks, that number could change dramatically if you’re suddenly single, especially if the food expenses have been your part of the household budget plan for two adults.
Imagine how much you could save. Over the next twenty years, you could possibly save $75,000 or more. What a way to start saving for a rainy day! Could you use an extra 75k in twenty years?
Imagine all of your favorite goodies you could fill in your refrigerator! Not only can you now buy the food he hated, but the stuff he loved and gobbled up before you had a chance to enjoy it.
Look at it this way, if gas prices continue to rise, living single won’t really help, but because of the increase in oil, the cost of dairy products is on the rise. They say a gallon of milk will be close to $5 in the next year, so start saving your money and celebrate being single!

Embrace the Unknown

How do we know when it’s time to move on and realize our unfulfilled desires?
Can we be certain when the time is right and if we’re clearly interpreting our inner voice? When we allow doubt and fear to take control, our strongest desires, hopes and dreams are dashed.
Choosing to live the single life, opens up far more opportunities to be spontaneous or make changes without drastically affecting our spouse or live-in partner. So much of one person’s life can be lost and never replaced due to the needs and decisions of a dominant spouse.
Click on the “Writernia” link to the right to read my story about one woman surviving the uncertainty. It's titled, “Embrace the Unknown”, by Single 101.

Reaching Your Full Potential

One of the 101 reasons to celebrate being single in “Single 101” is the freedom to pursue your passion. When I think of the advice I’ve received from family, friends, teachers, mentors, sages in books and even little calendars with inspiring affirmations, it’s wonderful to have genuine support.
A friend once said that those positive voices began to do battle with the negative voices in her head, only the negative voices were really coming from the outside, from her spouse.
Finding positive support in a relationship can be like mining for gold and one day, you wake up and realize that the person sleeping next to you is either jealous of your success or has no interest whatsoever in your life’s desires.
I can gratefully relish in the fact that my first husband and I fully support each other now. After thirty-five years, we accept the other for who they are and it seems as though our shortcomings are non-existent. We hold on to the good memories and focus on reaching our full potential as individuals. Romance doesn’t have to be a part of enjoying the person you fell in love with. Every now and then, I get to hang out with the guy who was my best friend and still, in so many ways, continues to be that man today.
Reaching the summit of your full potential is still a tough climb, but far less complicated when a spouse or partner isn’t trying to drag you back down the mountain.

Listen to Wisdom

Where was Marilyn Anderson when I needed her? The author of “Never Kiss A Frog”, published by Red Rock Press, offers her sage advice and experience. Marilyn claims that her journey through the swamp left several warts that will always be reminders of the dating mistakes in her life.
If only we could have read books in the 1980’s from authors like Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, who teamed up to pen the Simon Spotlight Entertainment book, “He’s Just Not That Into You”. As Greg and Liz simply put it, “stop kidding yourself!”
Statistics show that more women today are choosing to fly solo after divorce and failed relationships. In this changing world, more publishers are offering us opportunities to learn from the voices of wisdom and experience. Hopefully, if we feed our brains, we’ll heal our hearts.

To Bed or Not to Bed?

If you’re one to burn the midnight oil, this question comes up frequently when you’re spouse or boyfriend wants you to join him, but you have just one more little thing you have to do. Whether you’re working on a book, writing a song or entering the day’s events in your journal, there are nights that seem to call out to you. When you’re single, you can keep going till breakfast and sleep as late as you please with no more worries or thoughts of how he’ll feel about it. The bigger question is, “why should someone get upset with you when you need some time for yourself?”

Empowerment

The single life can be totally empowering. Check out Kristi’s story:
My husband had an affair and I asked for a divorce, placing myself in a position where I needed a new place to live, a car to drive, and a job that would support me. In just six months, I found a house, a better job, in addition to my first credit card and mortgage in my own name.
I’ve traveled to Europe and took a cruise, achieving more in ONE YEAR of being single than I did in fifteen years of a marriage.

The Mattress Is All Yours!

Early in an intimate relationship, most couples rarely have a second thought about the size of their bed. They prefer to sleep as close as they can.
When the honeymoon’s over, the struggle for space and personal comfort begins!
Here’s Jen’s story . . .
Tim and I could fall asleep with our arms around each other for months after we were first married. Then, one night I woke up to feel like the left side of my head was wet and it was. He was slobbering on me! I told him that I loved many things about him, but that wasn’t one of them. Before we knew it, we were fighting for the covers and over who had the best pillow. Now, I want my own bedroom!

No More Lonely Nights

This is one of the most popular reasons among women.
You don’t have to worry about where he is, when he’s coming home or when he’s going to call.
That stress is off your mind, off your shoulders and out from in-between your shoulder blades! It’s not even a part of your vocabulary anymore. No more lonely nights without him, because that chapter is closed.

Music For Our Troops

As we are fast approaching the Fourth of July, there’s something that we can all get involved in by supporting our troops.
It’s a songwriter’s life for me and it finds me always looking for ways to share my music.
I recently discovered a wonderful web site, where songwriters and composers could submit their music to be a part of a compilation CD to be sent to our troops.
I’m proud to say that one of my songs, “Wild Horses” has been chosen to be on the “All States All Stars” collection. It represents songwriters from each of the 50 states and is planned for shipment to our troops by the Fourth of July, 2007.
You can be a part of it too, by making a donation to this great effort. For more information, please visit: www.MusicForTroops.com.