If You're Afraid to Go It Alone, Don't Read This!

If you don't need the bed all to yourself, don't read this! If you love sharing the milk jug in the refrigerator with someone who sneaks a slurp or two, don't read this! If you don't mind living with a slob, don't read this! If he's insanely jealous that you having male friends in addition to your female friends, don't read this! If he's so adorable hogging the remote and being the master controller of the thermostat, then . . . well?

There are those who believe that if you are not in a relationship and prefer living alone, you just exit and don't really live. Yes! When it's five below zero in the middle of winter and he insists on sleeping with the bedroom window open, now, that's living! Is that guy the Prince Charming you waited for all of your life?

Those who try to influence you with fear and negativity will never understand the strengths of flying solo. They're bullies who never experience the possibilities because they don't want to know. It may be true that there are some who are really living life and those who are just existing, but the latter is not true for the majority of singletons and factually, countless men and women end up just existing when locked in a marriage.

Um, is this 2013?

Guess what? No matter what the cowardly bullies say, you don't have to be one half of a couple to feel complete. Single people who have chosen to remain single are actually enjoying life, especially in the way they choose to live. Single men and women have been labeled many negatives, but until you embrace the possibilities, you'll never know.

You may want to try living single for a period of time before you enter into another relationship and you're bound to discover who you truly are. In this so-called sophisticated and evolved society, people will knock you down for managing your life on your own without a spouse or partner. It's true that single parents cannot possibly give equitable time, energy and creativity compared to what two parents can do. However, life goes on in the same manner as when you're the sole grocery shopper, mower of the lawn, changer of every light bulb and air-filler-upperer of every flat bicycle tire. It all gets done and you are a champion.

If you're like some women who convince themselves that they can tolerate mediocrity with a condescending mate, then why are you still reading this? One of the saddest moments you can experience is when you've realized how lonely you are in a relationship. No matter what you have tried to stay committed, communicate or make an effort toward building your relationship with your partner or spouse, you discover that you've wasted precious time. Your time- your life.

Doggie Doo and Cat Vomit
I will admit that it would be nice for someone else to handle a few chores now and then, especially when the gross things that cats do make it impossible to get the stains out of the carpet. Hair balls aside, there is one great benefit to having sole responsibility of walking your dog. You get fresh air, exercise and both you and your buddy cherish the time you've spent together. You may have to convince yourself now and then that you'll survive when your Golden Retriever is taking ten minutes to pee on one bush and the frost is developing into icicles on your eyelashes. It is most definitely true that what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. It's huge. Taking the first step across the threshold into single status is all about strength and courage.

Serenity is the Key
In what is probably the most complicated and challenging times in our world, peace and serenity are hard to find. If you're ready to make a change, find the happiness you deserve and not laden yourself with insurmountable guilt, it's time to go and you have had the key all along.

From "Single 101, 101 Reasons to Celebrate Being Single", remember Reason #24- you never have to be afraid to go it alone. Thanks for reading through to the end!

From our Friends at Purina

I have to share this wonderful story recently published on Purina's PetCetric site!

The Perfect Friend
by Rebecca Desfosse

Marni can't wait to get out of work each day. No, she doesn't hate her job or dislike her boss. She's just crazy about her dog. "When I pull up to my house and see that adorable face in the window, all the stress and irritation of the day are just gone." Marni's gaga over her pet's love.

Forget that old cliché of a single woman and a gaggle of finicky felines. Marni, a single woman living in New Jersey, is all about dogs - namely, her cocker spaniel Chico. Why is Marni crazy about Chico? Well, she'd love to name the reasons.

"Now that I have a dog, I get more exercise." Chico and Marni go for long walks on the boardwalk and like to go hiking. Since Marni adopted Chico a year and a half ago, she's lost five pounds. That's mostly thanks to daily walks around the block with Chico in addition to the longer walks they enjoy on the weekends. "He gets me moving," she says.

He's also great company. "With Chico, I don't feel alone. He's my constant companion," Marni admits. That makes spending the holidays as a single woman much more bearable. It also means extra security at home. "I just feel safer with Chico around," she says. It's true. Chico acts like the perfect guard dog - barking at anyone who walks past the house. He's very protective of her. He also loves to greet Marni at the door after a long day at work. "The second I walk in the door, I'm showered with kisses from Chico."

However, she's not overly close to her dog. Pets love human attention, but they also need time on their own. Marni loves Chico a lot, but she'll leave him home to go out on a date or with her friends. He's also not a stand-in for a kid. She avoids what she calls "baby talk" at all costs. "I realize I need to go out and socialize - it can't all be about the dog," she says.

She go to lengths to socialize on her own, but Marni sure spends plenty of time spoiling Chico. He eats the highest-quality organic food, wears a pricey leather collar, and gets a monthly grooming session at the local pet salon. "I definitely spend a lot of money on Chico," Marni says. She also brushes his teeth each day, hoping to keep him healthy for years to come.

Will Marni adopt another dog? She's not sure. With Chico, she feels like life is complete. She might get a second though, just to give Chico a friend. "Sometimes I think he must get lonely all day by himself," she says. Pets love the company of another animal throughout the day. A new pet won't take the place of Chico in Marni's heart, however: "No other dog can take his place. Though there's always room for more."

Rebecca Desfosse
Adoptive mom to two dogs and a cat, Rebecca Desfosse understands life with pets and why we love them.

A Letter to the President

So many of us would like to have our voices heard.  Maybe you've wanted to write to the President of the United States, but procrastinated, thinking it would end up in an oval office shredder.

This is one woman's recent correspondence.

April 17, 2013

Dear President Obama,
In a recent press conference, you stated, "As humans we can identify galaxies light-years away. We can study particles smaller than an atom, but we still haven't unlocked the mystery of the three pounds of matter that sits between our ears."

On April 1st, surgeons removed a 7.5 lb. mass from my abdomen and three additional cysts from my left fallopian tube. Pathology results proved the same conclusion, another mystery of life. My mother, who has stage four breast cancer had surgery in February to remove a cancerous tumor, along with her left breast. A second surgery looms for her, but we don’t know how much time she has.

We have survived the recession until this point, although I’ve needed to borrow funds to keep my self-employed business alive, incurring more debt. Within the last two months, we have hit a wall with no work, medical bills arriving and facing home foreclosure. We have had my mother’s home for sale since 2005 and I know that I will have to prepare to lose my own home as well. Every application I have completed with Federal and State government agencies who have been designed to help the elderly and the disabled are finding us ineligible.

I am 59 years of age, challenged with rheumatoid arthritis for the past twenty-five years and my mother is 85. My SSD and her SSI is unsubstantial for survival. Our economic challenges, rise in the cost of living, gas and utilities are shutting us out, dividing us from those who get through the doors of new opportunities.

Will our government’s $100 million investment in new research of the brain unlock the area that will lead us to answers for our survival? Will we be more intelligent and wiser? Are there any programs forthcoming to help Americans like my mother and I bounce back or recoup what we have lost? We are among the countless American citizens who do not want to leach off of the government. We don’t need a hand-out, just a leg up and who will keep us from being written off? Will studies of the brain produce new solutions for people like us?

Hoping for your personal attention and reply.

Sincerely,
American from Ohio

Sunshine and Me

It's finally here. "Sunshine and Me" by Celeste Friedman.

A heartwarming story of cat rescue and happy endings.

Now available for download to Kindle and Kindle Fire: http://www.amazon.com/Sunshine-and-Me-ebook/dp/B00B1WDHR4

　

Here are a few excerpts and a peek inside . . .
 . . . His routine was the same, showing up every couple of days or a week later.  What he was putting me through! He wasn’t my cat, but was he my cat?  Still, I was concerned for his welfare daily.


 . . . Sunshine continues to be pressed for time, as if he’s late for an appointment or a date.


 . . . At this point, I have reluctantly kept Sunshine’s adoption ad updated and as beautiful as he looks in his photo, no one has inquired. Maybe no one was supposed to.


 . . . There is a new lady in his life, an all black long-haired beauty with brilliant green eyes and very chatty. He escorts his new love to the deck and up to the back door, as if it is necessary to be ceremonial about it. Sunshine puts his front leg, forearm, if you will, around her neck and grooms her face. He is smitten, for sure. 

　
. . . Suddenly, the big day arrived. It was a hot August afternoon and I happened to be near the door to witness Midnight leading the kittens into my backyard. Following obediently behind her in a straight line, they parade across the lawn and up the steps onto the deck.  Midnight lies down in the middle of the deck and stretches out, content, yawning and ready for a nap. The kittens stay near to her, watching and waiting for her next move. They are a bit spooked by me and keep their distance.  Sunshine comes around the corner of the house and stations himself on the top step of the deck. They appear to recognize him immediately. I know in that moment that this is not my house anymore.

　
. . . Sunshine continues to linger on the railing of the deck in the evenings, gazing off into the distance, either waiting for someone or daydreaming. We both ponder about survival. Feline or human, we possess instinctive ways of smelling the coming rain or sensing changes on the horizon. Of course, he’ll never understand my concerns of finding work, paying the bills, keeping our house and being able to afford the cat chow. Regardless, he has become the architect of my greatest priorities.




 

　

 

　

New Traditions for the New Year

How do you plan to celebrate the new year?  Counting down the days, hours and minutes to the coming year has always been fun and intriguing for me.  Here in the United States in 2012, the focus is on the fiscal cliff, an imaginary visual describing the state of our finances.   According to our government, Americans will not be holding onto the edge of the cliff anymore in 2013, but heading out into the wild blue yonder of the bottomless pit, like Wylie Coyote.  Frankly, self-employed people like me have already gone over that cliff and all I can report is that most of you looking over the edge should simply hope for the best.  There are millions of us out here already, still tumbling aimlessly, so you won’t be alone.

But wait . . . there is hope!  I came across a listing of New Year’s Eve traditions that sound interesting and may provide a different angle on how we are wishing the new year will bring a better life.   Superstition-schmooperstition, so what?   Why not try something different?  First, don’t forget to download your copy of Single 101’s 101 New Year’s Resolutions, available on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Single-101-Years-Resolutions-ebook/dp/B006RY6IP4. Let’s take the leap together!

Good luck and best wishes for love, happiness, good health and prosperity in the coming year . . . Celeste

Global Trends and Traditions:

Eat 12 Grapes
In many cultures around the world it is good luck to eat 12 grapes for each time the clock strikes at midnight.

Hallow Out an Egg
Fill hallowed out egg shells with confetti. At the stroke of midnight, gently smash them releasing a shower of confetti.

Toss Coins Into the Air
Tossing coins into the air could be symbolic of throwing caution to the wind to see where your booty lands, but many believe it can inspire good fortune.

Sing!
Whether you consider yourself a vocalist or not, sing loud and clear!

Anoint Your Friends With Water
Water is the symbol of renewal and rebirth, so think of a fun way to sprinkle your guests. It could be pouring a small amount of water from a glass on someone's head or spraying each other with water bottles.

Throw Confetti
Make use of the basket from your paper shredder or rip apart your discarded Christmas wrapping paper, toss and be merry.

Release Your Wishes into the Sky
Write your wishes for the new year on a Chinese lantern and release it into the air at the stroke of midnight.

Chase Your Blues Away
Jot down something you weren't happy about the previous year on a piece of paper, toss it into the fire or tear it up. Maybe if we all wrote down our discontent for our congressional representatives, we could change Washington with the power of pen and fire.

Jump Into the Air
Embrace the new year with energy and joy, just don’t jump farther than you’re afraid to fall. You don’t want to spend the new year in the hospital.

Share a Secret
Whisper a secret or wish that you have to a friend or a total stranger at the stroke of midnight.

　

　

　

To Play or Not to Play

In recent weeks, there has been a deluge of articles, advice columns, radio and television interviews and panel discussions on infidelity, due to the General Petraeus scandal in the United States. Having invested in 38 years of marriage, Petraeus threw caution to the wind, having an affair with a woman he had employed to write his biography.

You may be asking still how Petraeus, the director of the CIA, kept his affair concealed for so long and if he actually believed he could be successful in this kind of deception. Inevitably, America and the rest of the world became privy to a plethora of graphic details regarding the relationship with his mistress that we didn’t really need to know.

On HealthGuidance.org, Elizabeth Danish began her November article, “Dating A Married Man” with stark reality, that a wise woman never dates a married man. She states that if you are searching for a life-long commitment, you are sabotaging your own success by snaring another woman’s husband.

Are You Simply His Toy?
Once a boy is tired of playing with a toy, he abandons or throws it away. If you’ve run a comparison, you’ve most probably found that the cons out-weigh the pros when it comes to having an intimate relationship with a married man. Danish also brings home the point that a cheating man is the one in control of the relationship. He sees an affair as something that is romantically and sexually thrilling. It makes his life once again exhilarating and full of passion. Some men who cheat often have reinvigorated intimacy with their wives, according to Danish, in an attempt to cover their tracks, thus double dipping, if you will, between wives and mistresses.

Advantage- the Cheating Man
As long as he remains in his marriage, his priorities will be his family, as it should be. However, his mistress and best kept secret will be alone on Thanksgiving, Christmas and if it’s that important to her, Valentine’s Day. He will attempt to spend time with her before or after the holidays, to make up for not sharing in the celebrations.

Finally, Elizabeth Danish asks, “What was your goal when you started the relationship with him?” It is likely that you wanted to have a lasting relationship with someone who is mature and sensitive. If you reconsider the goal, is it really achievable?

　
Cheaters who Cheat and the Fools who Fall for Them
Stephany Alexandre, author of the book “The Cheat Sheet”, leads you over to the dark side and into the secret lives of philanderers by giving first-hand accounts of cheating stories. Alexandre says the cheating experts know how to justify their acts, handle guilt, cope with double lives, and juggle the search for commitment with outside gratification. What are some of the signs that say he’s cheating on you? Ariana Huffington, Editor of The Huffington Post states, ‘texting is the new lipstick on the collar’.

Single 101’s take . . .
Men who pursue extra-marital affairs develop a confidence that they will never get caught, especially when they meet all of their responsibilities as a husband, a father and bread winner. The majority of cheating spouses do get away with cheating on their mates. In one study, 70% of married women and 54% of married men had no idea their spouse was involved in an affair.

No matter how deep you have fallen for a married man, it is best to pull back and wait to see if he is serious about ending his marriage. If it ends in divorce, give yourself plenty of time to see if his love for you, (if that exists) is strong enough for him to emotionally invest in a real relationship with you. The emotional cost of waiting, if he’s worth it, cancels out the shock and hurt you would experience if he cuts off the affair, due to the demands of keeping his marriage together and his infidelity unknown. Time will reveal true love. In some cases, does absence makes the heart grow fonder?

　
After publishing Single 101: 101 Reasons to Celebrate Being Single, I met a woman who had made a personal commitment to living out the rest of her life as a single person. She had finally freed herself of relationships that left her feeling empty and filled with disappointment. After several years, she adapted well to flying solo. If she was introduced to a man, especially someone who was also single, she looked beyond any element that would create attraction or interest. Her goal was to enjoy a life filled with true friendships where she never had to deal with a jealous spouse or boyfriend anymore.

That Unexplainable Spark
Unsuspecting to fall, she was swept off her feet by a married man who initially dropped hints of having an unsatisfactory marriage for many years and stating that it was over. As the single girl and the man grew closer, they began sharing their attraction toward each other.

In her late fifties, she does not consider herself to be desirable and have anything to physically offer a man. Self-esteem is not an issue for her within the protective walls of living independently. She has dealt with a crippling disability for many years and disturbed by the opinion of many men and women that a man will sleep with ‘anything’. However, she stepped over the threshold that she was determined never to cross and set herself up for the possibility of being disenchanted, alone and ashamed of being an ‘anything’.

She imagines what the future would be like if she were to become the next woman he cheats on, yet she cares for him so much, she cannot bring herself to label him as a cheater. As much as we try to fight or ignore it, there is unrelenting power in attraction for the right or wrong reasons. When your feelings are so strong for someone, you are blind to the realities of deception. The need to be as close as possible to someone can overpower the risk of deeply hurting others who may become affected.

Statistics show that an extremely low percentage of these affairs develop into actual committed relationships. So, do we protect ourselves and try to prevent emotional pain or do we take a chance, follow our instinct that craves intimacy, hoping that our actions may lead to real love and happiness?

To quote the lyrics from Train’s “Drive By”- “on the up-side to a downward spiral, my love for you went viral and I loved you every mile you drove away.”


"To Play or Not to Play" will appear in January of 2013 on Cupid's Pulse. 
Visit: http://CupidsPulse.com
 


　

　

　

　

What the Single 101 Nation is All About

Emma Johnson, Editor of  The Motley Fool, posted the following article on DailyFinance.com, dated November 23, 2012.


"No Man, More Money: Five Women Who Thrived After Divorce"

This 45 year-old mother of two teenagers, Huma Gruaz lives in Chicago where she runs the public relations agency Alpaytac, which bills $2.5 million annually and employs 22 people -- including many single mothers. She divorced in 2000.

Life before divorce: After a successful advertising career in Europe, this native of Turkey married and moved to an affluent Chicago suburb where she raised her children in a large home with a pool. "When my marriage fell apart, it was the scariest thing in the world because I had no work experience in the U.S.," Gruaz says. "I was a suburban mom driving my kids around to playgroups and cooking meals and helping with homework."
Life after divorce: With just enough child support to pay her rent, Gruaz volunteered to work for free at a PR agency. In 2004, she launched her own firm, which has won multiple awards and now has offices in three cities. Gruaz earned an MBA from Northwestern's Kellogg School of Management in 2008. Today, her personal income is three to four times that of what her now ex-husband earned when they were married.

Philosophy: "I lived a pristine American story, and it was hard to walk away. When I left I barely had enough money to buy food. But through my experiences I became a better, more mature person. And the ride has been enriching and I've had some incredible relationships along the way."

Huma Hruaz is a shining example of what the Single 101 Nation is all about.

Single 101 Reason #24- 'never be afraid to go it alone'

http://www.dailyfinance.com/2012/11/23/no-man-more-money-five-women-who-thrived-after-divorce/#photo-1

Happy Thanksgiving!
Celeste

Has It Really Been Fifty Years?

Fifty years ago, we were rushing home every day after school to watch American Bandstand, hosted by Dick Clark. Chubby Checker inspired the world with a new dance and number one tune, "The Twist". John F. Kennedy was President of the United States, John Glenn became the first American to orbit the earth and we were introduced to Mr. Bond.  One-half of a century ago, I was in second grade with no stress or cares, except to wonder if I'd have a part in the school Christmas play and if my grades would meet my parents' expectations.

Every Sunday night, families across the U.S. gathered around their black and white televisions at 8:00 pm to watch the Ed Sullivan Show. Little did we know who Sullivan would introduce to audiences in the states one year later. In England, John, Paul, George and Ringo were recording track after track of a new sound that would revolutionize the music industry. The world would nickname them "The Fab Four" before they even set foot on American soil.

October 5, 2012 marks the 50th anniversary of the release of "Love Me Do," The Beatles' first single. Written by Lennon and McCartney, it begins with that signature harmonica lick. Maybe you'll dust off that old "Introducing the Beatles" album, download the single to your iPhone or simply hear it playing in your head.

Peace and love to all Beatles fans here, there and everywhere!

Celeste

Single Parenting and Going Green

Most of us are becoming more conscious of what we feed our children, a new baby, as well as ourselves. The Green Movement and how we treat our planet is a step in the right direction, however, it will raise your food expenses a few notches. With well thought-out meal planning and more awareness of where to buy, especially local, it's a greener world for your wallet. Here are a few tips for getting started with an organic lifestyle:

One Step at a Time

Going green doesn't mean going crazy for every organic item you find at the market. On produce, this is the perfect time to enjoy the harvest from your local growers. Still, wash everything thoroughly when you get home. If you're not making your own baby food for your newborn, jarred foods like bananas, mangoes and oranges are good. In many ways, you can start out with a mix of organic and conventional.

Organic is wise when it comes to dairy, meat and poultry. Animals raised on factory-style farms are loaded with antibiotics and hormones. This keeps them healthy, but is not necessarily safe when passed on to the consumer.

Do Your Homework

Shop around for the best deals that conform with your budget.  Many high-end markets are making high-end profits with organic foods. Low-end stores offer most of the same green brands for less, but be selective and know what you're buying. Some of the major department store chains across the United States are offering organic products, but Trader Joe's is becoming the place that most green consumers recommend. Check out http://TraderJoes.com for a location near you. Again, pay close attention to what you are purchasing before you place it into your shopping cart. Look for the USDA organic seal, which means that what you're buying has been certified as an organic product, after in-depth testing.

Keep it Local

Some of the very best in organic foods are available right there in your own back yard. It's the closest thing to strolling through the garden and picking the tomatoes yourself. If you've ever tasted fruits and vegetables right off the vine, you know what I mean. Take advantage of what is in season. The savings from the soil to your table really add up and there are no middle-men or distribution costs included. You may even try tilling up your own garden. Don't be afraid to dig your hands into the soil and enjoy the thrill of watching the seeds grow. You can do it!

Simplicity is Key

You may be accustomed to pre-packaged and processed food and snacks that have become a staple in your diet for most of your life. It might be time for a change and change is good, especially if it prolongs your life and keeps you and your family healthy. Think of it this way- more calories, more sugar and more salt add up to more dollars you have to spend. Why do we have to spend more money to do possible damage to our hearts?  Think grains and vegetables first, meat and poultry second. Soy products, such as milk and yogurt are heart-smart nutritional goodness  for our bodies.

Get to Know Your Grower

Many organic foods and products are now putting the growers information on the label. You can find their code on the product you buy and visit their website to learn exactly where your food is grown, right down to the latitude-longitude location. Kind of like your green GPS link.

Be safe, be wise and you'll save green as well as enjoy the harvest from your local growers.

Flying Solo Publishing and Songs For Charlie Music is proud to announce a new release from singer-songwriter and Grammy nominee Celeste Friedman:

 

"I Saw God Down on Hollywood Boulevard"

Now available on CDBaby http://CDbaby.com/cd/celestefriedman3

and in iTunes at http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-saw-god-down-on-hollywood/id548471692

 

 

"striking and poignant"

"sings like an omen"

"foreboding and very telling of the critical state of our world"

Whether you choose to believe the prophets from the Bible or not, some say that we are now witnessing their premonitions. Over-population and global warming are just the tip of the iceberg.

Throughout the centuries, there have been claims made by people in different parts of the world that the Virgin Mary has appeared to them. A remarkable list of miracles, cures and interventions are attributed to Her. Each year, an estimated 10 million visit the Basilica in Mexico City, the most visited Catholic church in the world, 2nd to The Vatican and the site of the appearance of Our Lady of Guadalupe on December 9, 1531. Including Fatima, and several other global locations, the Virgin Mary's apparition last appeared in Banneaux, Belgium in 1933.

If God, Jesus, Mary and the Holy Spirit all came together to make their presence known now or in the near future, how would we react? Should it ever happen, will we be ready?

c. 2012 Songs For Charlie Music, BMI

http://SongsForCharlieMusic.com