Recently, I came across an article covering an in-depth study on women suffering from identity crisis, stemming from taking their spouse’s name. The psychological effects on some women can evolve into a crisis, where they actually begin to feel that they don’t even know who they are anymore. The real crisis or potentiality of such is the fact that this remains a critical issue for many women and even for men in some cases
Women who have chosen to take their husband’s name can range from those who don’t really see it as an issue at all to those who fear that if they don’t, their children’s identity will be lost or confused. Those who have elected to keep their given names see several advantages. Some believe in the importance of carrying on the identity of their lineage; some simply love their name, have had it all their lives and wouldn’t change it for any reason; and some don’t want the hassle of the legal red tape, which can get even more complicated if a woman divorces and wants her maiden name back.
For the past several decades, this has been a huge problem for many divorced women. Taking back their maiden name left them non-existent, alienated in a world who used to know them as Mrs. Someone, leaving them as a ‘nobody’ with zero credit history. Whether your changing your name back to your own or taking his, still remains a challenge and an inconvenience.
Let’s make a list: A new driver’s license, passport, social security card, checking account, savings account, 401k plan, stocks, certificates, bonds or mutual funds, credit cards, subscriptions, membership cards, wills, mortgages, car loans, any legal documents and on and on.
Barbara in Texas says, “I didn't change my last name when I married, partly because my law license and diplomas bear my maiden name, but also because I didn't feel like changing or discarding the name given to me at birth.”
Tom from Oregon says, “Whenever my wife calls someplace regarding the kids (doctors, daycare, etc.), she has to say, ‘This is Jane Smith, John Doe's mother.’ Me, I can simply say, ‘This is Tom Doe, John's father.’ I've had problems picking up prescriptions for my wife when she can't because of our different names. My wife also carries a copy of our marriage license on her at all times.”
Angie in North Carolina writes, "The best solution I came across was a couple that picked a brand new last name for themselves. I have three sets of friends who did this!”
Christine from Ohio says, “I’m still stuck with my ex-husband’s last name. When we divorced, I feared that I would have to start all over again, from being able to buy a home to getting credit in my maiden name.”
Julia in Chicago writes, “I've seen lots of variations in my time as a professor, and my current Dean has a hyphenated name (but his wife does not!). I've talked about it with my partner and she, like me, shares the publishing dilemma concern.”
Which leads us to yet another name issue- to hyphenate or not to hyphenate. The moment we all heard that Hillary would officially be known as Hillary Rodham Clinton, it raised the validation level for many married women. I’m sure old Lucy Stone would have had plenty to say about that.
Lucy waged a passionate struggle for equal rights for women, a struggle that continues even in today‘s world. In existence since the early 1920’s, The Lucy Stone League is dedicated to equal rights for women and men to retain, modify and create their names, believing that a person's name is fundamental to her and/or his existence. I wonder what Lucy’s mother’s maiden name was? I suspect that Ms. Stone would have been a hyphenator.
However, over the past 10 years, fewer women have been keeping their maiden names. According to a study by Harvard economics professor Claudia Goldin, based on Massachusetts birth records, the number of college-educated women in their thirties who have kept their given name, dropped from 23 percent in 1990 to 17 percent in 2000. Those traveling the traditional route by taking his name, join the ranks of 90% of women getting married today in the United States.
So . . . single? If you said yes, wasn’t it great to wake up this morning without having to deal with all of that mumbo-jumbo? Isn’t it wonderful to know who you truly are?
Monday, May 18, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
No In-Laws!
Read Samantha’s story:
Sam grew up in the Catholic faith, following in her father’s footsteps, under the dominant rule of the Dominican nuns and priests. Along with her school mates, she attended Mass every Wednesday morning before school and occasional Sundays with her father.
The years of teachings from the catechism troubled Sam, but she was fearful of asking questions or debating issues that never seemed to make any sense. Yet, Sam was enchanted on the day of her First Communion and later stood tall as a soldier of Christ on her Confirmation Day.
Her mother was a Methodist. She reminded Sam frequently of how the priest forced her to sign a document stating that every child bore in her marriage to Sam’s father would exclusively be raised as a Catholic. Sam witnessed the cultural differences within her own family and learned quickly how polarizing each religious belief could be. Her grandparents on either side of the family never gelled and Sam learned at an early age of the dreadful, so-called, “mother-in-law”.
Sam continually experienced the prejudiced attitude of the nuns and how they acted out their feelings on the children of mixed marriages. She became increasingly uncomfortable in class, when the nuns, who were also the elementary teachers, would ask the students the same question repeatedly throughout grade school: How many girls in the class are planning to become a nun when they grow up? How many young men are planning to become a priest when they grow up? In the clusters of raised hands, Samantha never participated with a reply.
As a young adult, Sam was uncertain of what she truly believed in. She began to search her soul about God and Jesus. After several years of personal study of Buddahism, Christianity and Judaism, she discovered that the Jewish faith came closer to her true beliefs and finally found comfort in her relationship with God.
Samantha later met a young man who was Jewish. His family were members of a conservative temple, but only attended services on High Holidays. She fell in love with him, but he struggled with the fear of having to break it to his parents that he had met a non-Jew and hoped to marry Sam. His mother was more compassionate and understanding, but as his father shook Samantha’s hand for the first time, he looked her straight in the eyes and firmly stated, “I don’t like convertibles”.
That day, Samantha’s heartaches began. She forged on, converting into the Jewish faith, married who she believed was the man of her dreams, but never won the hearts of her in-laws. They patiently waited along the sidelines for the marriage to fail, which did after five alienating years.
Samantha never remarried. Her disappointments in the her ex-husband’s character, clearly a mirrored image of his parents, crushed her desires to practice a Jewish lifestyle. He later began dating a Jewish girl and eventually married her, satisfying the will of his father and finally giving his mother peace of mind and peace in the family.
That’s only one woman’s fate, where religion had more power over the actual relationship they could have had with their daughter-in-law. Fortunately for many people, they have found love and lasting relationships in mixed marriages. Their successes are forged from parents who are more culturally objective and comfortable with who they are themselves. Parents who indulge in impressing their friends and colleagues, force their children to exist behind an imaginary wall of prejudice.
In-laws? From the ridiculous to the demanding to be patronized and from the non-participatory to the dangerous, they can make or break a marriage. Write us and share your story here, by clicking on “comments”.
Sam grew up in the Catholic faith, following in her father’s footsteps, under the dominant rule of the Dominican nuns and priests. Along with her school mates, she attended Mass every Wednesday morning before school and occasional Sundays with her father.
The years of teachings from the catechism troubled Sam, but she was fearful of asking questions or debating issues that never seemed to make any sense. Yet, Sam was enchanted on the day of her First Communion and later stood tall as a soldier of Christ on her Confirmation Day.
Her mother was a Methodist. She reminded Sam frequently of how the priest forced her to sign a document stating that every child bore in her marriage to Sam’s father would exclusively be raised as a Catholic. Sam witnessed the cultural differences within her own family and learned quickly how polarizing each religious belief could be. Her grandparents on either side of the family never gelled and Sam learned at an early age of the dreadful, so-called, “mother-in-law”.
Sam continually experienced the prejudiced attitude of the nuns and how they acted out their feelings on the children of mixed marriages. She became increasingly uncomfortable in class, when the nuns, who were also the elementary teachers, would ask the students the same question repeatedly throughout grade school: How many girls in the class are planning to become a nun when they grow up? How many young men are planning to become a priest when they grow up? In the clusters of raised hands, Samantha never participated with a reply.
As a young adult, Sam was uncertain of what she truly believed in. She began to search her soul about God and Jesus. After several years of personal study of Buddahism, Christianity and Judaism, she discovered that the Jewish faith came closer to her true beliefs and finally found comfort in her relationship with God.
Samantha later met a young man who was Jewish. His family were members of a conservative temple, but only attended services on High Holidays. She fell in love with him, but he struggled with the fear of having to break it to his parents that he had met a non-Jew and hoped to marry Sam. His mother was more compassionate and understanding, but as his father shook Samantha’s hand for the first time, he looked her straight in the eyes and firmly stated, “I don’t like convertibles”.
That day, Samantha’s heartaches began. She forged on, converting into the Jewish faith, married who she believed was the man of her dreams, but never won the hearts of her in-laws. They patiently waited along the sidelines for the marriage to fail, which did after five alienating years.
Samantha never remarried. Her disappointments in the her ex-husband’s character, clearly a mirrored image of his parents, crushed her desires to practice a Jewish lifestyle. He later began dating a Jewish girl and eventually married her, satisfying the will of his father and finally giving his mother peace of mind and peace in the family.
That’s only one woman’s fate, where religion had more power over the actual relationship they could have had with their daughter-in-law. Fortunately for many people, they have found love and lasting relationships in mixed marriages. Their successes are forged from parents who are more culturally objective and comfortable with who they are themselves. Parents who indulge in impressing their friends and colleagues, force their children to exist behind an imaginary wall of prejudice.
In-laws? From the ridiculous to the demanding to be patronized and from the non-participatory to the dangerous, they can make or break a marriage. Write us and share your story here, by clicking on “comments”.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Their Stuff, Your Stuff
I met my second husband at a local radio station where we both worked. We were on the air at the same time. He was AM. I was FM. Our love affair bloomed, exchanging glances through the studio windows.
To say that I was shocked when I first visited his apartment is quite an understatement. With that said, I’ll spare you the details. I had never been inside someone’s bachelor pad before and suddenly began to appreciate that my first husband never lived like a cave man. At this point, I had been divorced for a few years and in the process of building my second house. Was I ready to share my dream home with Java Man?
The day he moved in, I learned a lot about myself. As each box and “man thing” was carried into what would no longer be just my space, I cringed. Was I already set in my ways, too eccentric, too feminine with my décor? Would I have the interior design skills to blend my Country French furnishings with his 1960’s rattan patio group that still possessed the musty odor of his parent’s basement?
Mr. Friedman, now my ex-husband, has been a Beatles fan and collector of Beatle’s albums and memorabilia. However, his life-sized poster of the band from the “Introducing the Beatles” photo sessions, became a challenge for me. Me, who also loved the fab four since childhood, inspiring my songwriting skills and musical tastes. At eleven years of age, I actually believed that I would marry Paul McCartney as soon as he dumped Jane Asher, but Linda Eastman beat me, along with millions of other women to the punch!
At twenty-eight, there I was, married to Mr. Friedman instead and there stood Paul staring back at me from my living room wall. How would I break it to my husband that his beloved Beatle’s poster, under glass in it’s sturdy brass frame, was more apropos for a college dorm? Paul, George, John and Ringo eventually found a home downstairs in the recreation room with the rattan furniture.
I do feel fortunate that my ex was a Beatle’s fan and not a beer can collector. Even Dodi Fayed had a huge wall covered with his ball cap collection. Hmmmmm, I wonder what Diana thought of his Paris bachelor pad?
Years after my husband and I parted, he emailed to let me know that accidentally, the poster fell and the glass shattered. I sometimes wonder if the poster would be cool hanging in my music studio today. It’s surprising to find how much I have changed.
It can be a wild and wooly battle for territory and personal space with a spouse or live-in partner. If you’re still on the fence about staying single, take your time and be observant. When he moves in and wants to display his little plastic soldiers from his childhood on the window sill, run as fast as you can!
To say that I was shocked when I first visited his apartment is quite an understatement. With that said, I’ll spare you the details. I had never been inside someone’s bachelor pad before and suddenly began to appreciate that my first husband never lived like a cave man. At this point, I had been divorced for a few years and in the process of building my second house. Was I ready to share my dream home with Java Man?
The day he moved in, I learned a lot about myself. As each box and “man thing” was carried into what would no longer be just my space, I cringed. Was I already set in my ways, too eccentric, too feminine with my décor? Would I have the interior design skills to blend my Country French furnishings with his 1960’s rattan patio group that still possessed the musty odor of his parent’s basement?
Mr. Friedman, now my ex-husband, has been a Beatles fan and collector of Beatle’s albums and memorabilia. However, his life-sized poster of the band from the “Introducing the Beatles” photo sessions, became a challenge for me. Me, who also loved the fab four since childhood, inspiring my songwriting skills and musical tastes. At eleven years of age, I actually believed that I would marry Paul McCartney as soon as he dumped Jane Asher, but Linda Eastman beat me, along with millions of other women to the punch!
At twenty-eight, there I was, married to Mr. Friedman instead and there stood Paul staring back at me from my living room wall. How would I break it to my husband that his beloved Beatle’s poster, under glass in it’s sturdy brass frame, was more apropos for a college dorm? Paul, George, John and Ringo eventually found a home downstairs in the recreation room with the rattan furniture.
I do feel fortunate that my ex was a Beatle’s fan and not a beer can collector. Even Dodi Fayed had a huge wall covered with his ball cap collection. Hmmmmm, I wonder what Diana thought of his Paris bachelor pad?
Years after my husband and I parted, he emailed to let me know that accidentally, the poster fell and the glass shattered. I sometimes wonder if the poster would be cool hanging in my music studio today. It’s surprising to find how much I have changed.
It can be a wild and wooly battle for territory and personal space with a spouse or live-in partner. If you’re still on the fence about staying single, take your time and be observant. When he moves in and wants to display his little plastic soldiers from his childhood on the window sill, run as fast as you can!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
More Opportunities to Meet NEW People!
Now, don’t start that talk about how you don’t go to pick up bars and meat markets. C’mon, think outside of the box and seek out new relationships.Here are one dozen great places to meet new friends:
1. Health Clubs
2. Museums3. Singles groups
4. Events: sporting, wine tasting, meetups
5. Networking groups
6. Book clubs
7. Civic organizations
8. Neighborhood watch programs
9. Volunteer organizations and churches
10. Workshops and seminars
11. Parties or have your own
12. Resorts and spas
It’s amazing how many wonderful people you meet traveling, even if it’s a few miles from your own front door. If you travel to a new country, you can also learn about a different culture or how to speak a new language. I’ll guarantee that you’ll come home with names and addresses of new pen pals.
How would you like to find new friends who are into enlightenment and spiritual well being? Step into the light and sign up for a yoga or tai chi class. Aaah! Just the sound of the word, 'yoga', doesn't it make you relaxed?
If you’re bored and fed up with your current job, go hunting for a new one. A new environment holds magical possibilities. Go shopping, even if you have no money, browse and window shop.
You may find a new friend in a pet store or the local humane society.
Which reminds me . . . lots of dog lovers will tell you to just get a dog, go to the park or the beach and watch what happens! (Instant friends and so much fun! ) Your cat wouldn’t be very happy at the beach anyway.
The golden ticket is asserting yourself. It’s easier than you think to bag that shy side of your personality and start opening up to people. Talk to strangers who are friendly in appearance. It makes waiting in line go so much faster.
Last but not least, smile at someone when you pass them on the street and by all means, smile back at someone who has smiled at you- what a gift!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
You Are at the Controls
It’s your choice, your responsibility and all about your needs. Some people only need to prevent pregnancy, where others need to protect themselves or their partners from sexually transmitted diseases.
Your choice of birth control should depend on several factors. These include your health, frequency of sexual activity, number of sexual partners and desire to have children. Your health care provider can help you select the best form of birth control for you, but it all comes down to you to ensure your own sexual well being.
In today’s world, thank goodness for the Internet. It’s all there, even BirthControl.com. We’ve come a long, long way in just the past 20 years. With a variety of oral contraceptives, condoms, IUD’s, spermicides, implants, patches, rings, caps, diaphragms, douches, vasectomy, even the rhythm method, it can make you dizzy just thinking about.
Your family doctor can inform you about the pros and cons of each birth control option, but he doesn’t have the time to consult you on those specifics. It’s your responsibility to do the research. Few doctors will take the time to provide printed materials on in-depth research and potential side effects. There are many serious factors to consider: your heart, decrease in bone density, depression, nausea, weight gain and the list goes on.
So, if it’s important to you and your own peace of mind, you have the wheel. Is saying, “no” an option? Duh!
Your choice of birth control should depend on several factors. These include your health, frequency of sexual activity, number of sexual partners and desire to have children. Your health care provider can help you select the best form of birth control for you, but it all comes down to you to ensure your own sexual well being.
In today’s world, thank goodness for the Internet. It’s all there, even BirthControl.com. We’ve come a long, long way in just the past 20 years. With a variety of oral contraceptives, condoms, IUD’s, spermicides, implants, patches, rings, caps, diaphragms, douches, vasectomy, even the rhythm method, it can make you dizzy just thinking about.
Your family doctor can inform you about the pros and cons of each birth control option, but he doesn’t have the time to consult you on those specifics. It’s your responsibility to do the research. Few doctors will take the time to provide printed materials on in-depth research and potential side effects. There are many serious factors to consider: your heart, decrease in bone density, depression, nausea, weight gain and the list goes on.
So, if it’s important to you and your own peace of mind, you have the wheel. Is saying, “no” an option? Duh!
Monday, December 15, 2008
Be Happy with Who YOU Are and Not Who and What He Wants You To Be
When you lay your head on your pillow tonight, will you be happy with who you are? As you reflect on the day, are you pleased with life as you know it and as you live it?
Check out Maria’s story . . .
My husband and I were married for 7 years. In the beginning, it seemed as though he loved everything about me, but after a year, things began to change. Maybe I took it for granted at first that he must have been happy with me, since he always seemed to be happy.
During the pregnancy of our first child, he began to criticize my appearance. No matter how I dressed or how I wore my hair, he wasn’t satisfied. I knew that he was embarrassed to be seen in public with me as my size increased more and more. After our daughter was born, I joined an aerobics class, watched my diet and returned to my weight that I maintained before we were married. However, he continued to be critical of what I wore and how I looked.
He didn’t stop there with my appearance and started to complain about the clothes I would buy for our little girl. In the evenings, he complained about my cooking, saying that he just put up with it over the years and finally had to say something. After our second child was born, I did my best to keep the toys and play areas organized, but for my husband, the house was never clean enough.
After five years with this man, I fell out of love with him. I began to hate myself and blame myself for everything. I don't know how I ever stuck it out for two more years. Finally, one morning after I took my daughter to school, I packed up the baby and went to the library. I found a huge section of self-help books and started to research what was wrong with me. The library became an obsession, as I couldn’t get enough information. The more I studied, I came to learn that the problem wasn’t me.
Each day I felt stronger and more confident to face my husband when he would badger and intimidate me. I finally mustered up to the courage to leave him, found legal counsel, filed for divorce and got custody of my children.
One day, I would like to re-marry, but I’m enjoying my freedom too much. There’s actually more time that I can devote to my children and so much more time for myself.
I love who I see in the mirror!
Check out Maria’s story . . .
My husband and I were married for 7 years. In the beginning, it seemed as though he loved everything about me, but after a year, things began to change. Maybe I took it for granted at first that he must have been happy with me, since he always seemed to be happy.
During the pregnancy of our first child, he began to criticize my appearance. No matter how I dressed or how I wore my hair, he wasn’t satisfied. I knew that he was embarrassed to be seen in public with me as my size increased more and more. After our daughter was born, I joined an aerobics class, watched my diet and returned to my weight that I maintained before we were married. However, he continued to be critical of what I wore and how I looked.
He didn’t stop there with my appearance and started to complain about the clothes I would buy for our little girl. In the evenings, he complained about my cooking, saying that he just put up with it over the years and finally had to say something. After our second child was born, I did my best to keep the toys and play areas organized, but for my husband, the house was never clean enough.
After five years with this man, I fell out of love with him. I began to hate myself and blame myself for everything. I don't know how I ever stuck it out for two more years. Finally, one morning after I took my daughter to school, I packed up the baby and went to the library. I found a huge section of self-help books and started to research what was wrong with me. The library became an obsession, as I couldn’t get enough information. The more I studied, I came to learn that the problem wasn’t me.
Each day I felt stronger and more confident to face my husband when he would badger and intimidate me. I finally mustered up to the courage to leave him, found legal counsel, filed for divorce and got custody of my children.
One day, I would like to re-marry, but I’m enjoying my freedom too much. There’s actually more time that I can devote to my children and so much more time for myself.
I love who I see in the mirror!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
You Say, "To-may-to" and I Say, "To-mah-to"
Once again, here we go over the river and through the woods. Some of us will enjoy a lovely, festive meal with dear ones and others will be wishing they would have figured out an excuse to get out of going where they ended up for the holiday.
This blog could easily fall into the “no-in laws” category from my book, "Single 101: 101 Reasons to Celebrate Being Single", but let's focus on the food! Fortunately for us who are single and living alone, what gets stuffed into the refrigerator, stays in the refrigerator, (even the left-over turkey is all pour moi). But wait, ah, ah, ah- get your mits off of that turkey leg and read Maggie’s story first:
I was born and raised in the Midwestern United States, where it was tradition to stuff and roast a turkey. We had all the trimmings with potatoes, gravy, an assortment of cooked vegetables, cranberry relish, cornbread and pumpkin pie. My husband and I were married for 18 years, but he was never satisfied with Thanksgiving served at our house, where I did all the cooking. He grew up in Maine, where the holidays were centered on the family seafood business. Thanksgiving and Christmas to his family meant clam chowder or lobster bisque, fresh scallops, shrimp, anything seafood. Potatoes were acceptable, but cranberry relish came out of the can.
Not a seafood lover myself, I dreaded those long trips to the east coast every other year. Trying to be polite, I would sip my chowder, but get full on mashed potatoes. What I was most thankful for on those Thanksgiving Days was simply the pumpkin pie!
Maggie isn’t alone. When you’re from the other side of the continent, it’s easy to see how so many of us clash when it comes to taste, especially on this day of feasting. The total win-win being single, is that you can travel anywhere you want for Thanksgiving, eat what you want, select what you want at the market or stay home and curl up with a great book.
Here’s hoping that this Thanksgiving finds you with who you love being with or doing what you love. Since we only live once, go ahead and add a dollop of whipped cream on that pie. Enjoy!
This blog could easily fall into the “no-in laws” category from my book, "Single 101: 101 Reasons to Celebrate Being Single", but let's focus on the food! Fortunately for us who are single and living alone, what gets stuffed into the refrigerator, stays in the refrigerator, (even the left-over turkey is all pour moi). But wait, ah, ah, ah- get your mits off of that turkey leg and read Maggie’s story first:
I was born and raised in the Midwestern United States, where it was tradition to stuff and roast a turkey. We had all the trimmings with potatoes, gravy, an assortment of cooked vegetables, cranberry relish, cornbread and pumpkin pie. My husband and I were married for 18 years, but he was never satisfied with Thanksgiving served at our house, where I did all the cooking. He grew up in Maine, where the holidays were centered on the family seafood business. Thanksgiving and Christmas to his family meant clam chowder or lobster bisque, fresh scallops, shrimp, anything seafood. Potatoes were acceptable, but cranberry relish came out of the can.
Not a seafood lover myself, I dreaded those long trips to the east coast every other year. Trying to be polite, I would sip my chowder, but get full on mashed potatoes. What I was most thankful for on those Thanksgiving Days was simply the pumpkin pie!
Maggie isn’t alone. When you’re from the other side of the continent, it’s easy to see how so many of us clash when it comes to taste, especially on this day of feasting. The total win-win being single, is that you can travel anywhere you want for Thanksgiving, eat what you want, select what you want at the market or stay home and curl up with a great book.
Here’s hoping that this Thanksgiving finds you with who you love being with or doing what you love. Since we only live once, go ahead and add a dollop of whipped cream on that pie. Enjoy!
Friday, October 3, 2008
Start Packing!
Money Magazine, who usually publishes the top best metropolitan cities to live in, recently released a list of the best smallest cities in America for 2007. According to Money Mag, Ohio is the best in the Midwest for small communities with populations between 7,500 and 50,000. Towns like Beavercreek, Gahanna and Highland Heights had the highest education scores, lowest crime rate and home affordability, in addition to high rankings in racial diversity, health care access, arts and leisure.
Northbrook, Ohio boasts the most affordable homes with the median home price of $83,760. A suburb of Cincinnati, Northbrook residents say they like the low-key living. Those who call home to Tonawanda, New York will tell you that it’s their town that offers the best in affordable homes, located along the beautiful Niagara River. If you’re searching for a family friendly environment with economic opportunities, Money suggests you check out Middleton, Wisconsin. For a more affluent atmosphere, the town with highest average income for 2007 is Hillsborough, California with a population of only 10, 500 and a median income of $263,456.
In 1989, Seattle was voted as the Number One best city to live in America, where a three-bedroom tudor-style home sold for $130,000. Even though Boeing has since relocated to Chicago, Starbucks and Microsoft call Seattle home where the Puget Sound and Cascade Mountains make you forget about how much it rains.
College towns offer the largest populations of singles, such as State College, Pennsylvania and Durham, New Hampshire where and 75% are single. Steeped in history, architecture and romantic landscapes, these serene, cozy communities thrive with plenty of entertainment and nightlife. The shortest commute to work can be found in Pella, Iowa and Pierre, South Dakota with an average of 7.5 minutes. Looking for the cleanest air? Start apartment or home hunting in Troy, Alabama or Brattleboro, Vermont.
Traveler’s Digest writes that Los Angeles is truly where western culture is defined today. Most trends begin in L.A. and influence the world. The most freedom in the world can be found in Amsterdam, Holland. Although drugs and hookers can legally be found on the same street, Amsterdam has one of the strongest economies in Europe and the friendliest people.
The Number One city in the world to live in, according to Traveler’s Digest is Montreal, Canada. One of the most diverse cultural cities with a growing economy. Just plan on gearing up with plenty of fleece, corduroys, winter coats and oh, oui, better learn to speak Francais!
If you love the cold and prefer a cozy fire seventy-five percent of the year, College, Alaska ranks as the coldest with an average temperature of 14 below zero in January. Grand Forks, Fargo and Jamestown, all in North Dakota average 4 below zero during the winter months and I can personally attest that with the wind factoring in, the temp drops to 50 below. For those who love the heat and low humidity, pack up for Rancho Mirage, California or Las Vegas, who average 108 degrees in July and a yearly humidity average of 28%.
So, now that you’re on your own, how do you like it? A quick commute or life in the big city? Speaking French? Hot or cold? Hey! Have some fun- close your eyes and point your finger to somewhere on the map. Then, open your eyes and discover your destiny.
I wish you safe travels and the joy of having the freedom to choose. ~Single 101
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
The Crossword Puzzle Is All Yours!!
I suppose you can blame it all on Joseph Pulitzer, who published the very first crossword puzzle in his publication, The New York World, on December 21, 1913. Arthur Wynne, who created the puzzle in the shape of a diamond with just a few clues, started a phenomenon that many newspaper subscribers cannot live without. Many newspaper publishers will tell you that you can forget to post an important news item with no reaction, but if you fail to publish the daily crossword puzzle, readers will have a snit.
According to Will Shortz, editor of the New York Times crossword puzzle, perhaps as many as 50 million people do crosswords just in America. One reader claims that he never gets bored as long as he has his daily puzzle, where another woman says that it keeps her mind sharp, improving her vocabulary.
A homemaker in Virginia states that she cringed when her husband bought her a crossword puzzle dictionary for Christmas, thinking it would help her. "That would be cheating," she said. But hold everything! If you’re having trouble getting that last word, you can actually have your clues analyzed at www.one across.com. In the event that you get stuck, OneAcross will help you out and no one is the wiser.
Rumors and tales have spread throughout the last century that some marriages have become stronger and some have failed because of the addiction to crossword puzzles. Have a score to settle or a little vendetta? Just hide your enemy’s crossword puzzle.
Let's say that you’re really bored and up to a new challenge. Spend twenty bucks on the World's Largest Crossword Puzzle, with a six foot six square grid, 91,000 plus squares and 24,718 clues, it’s guaranteed to never leave you clueless!
Hazel Warren of London, England claims that she actually forgot to prepare dinner for her family one night. Others like Hazel say they’ve been late picking up the kids from school or late for work, all because of the rage over “Sudoku”. Sudoku, which means "single number" in Japanese, is essentially a simple logic problem with layers of hidden complexity that can draw the solver in to the point of obsession and they claim it's all the rage in th UK.
Isn’t it lovely to be single? You have the freedom to sort out the logical assumptions on your own, celebrate your prowess of completing the puzzle yourself and you never have to argue or debate over your choices. If you can’t take the puzzle with you, it will still be there in the safe place you left it when you return home.
According to Will Shortz, editor of the New York Times crossword puzzle, perhaps as many as 50 million people do crosswords just in America. One reader claims that he never gets bored as long as he has his daily puzzle, where another woman says that it keeps her mind sharp, improving her vocabulary.
A homemaker in Virginia states that she cringed when her husband bought her a crossword puzzle dictionary for Christmas, thinking it would help her. "That would be cheating," she said. But hold everything! If you’re having trouble getting that last word, you can actually have your clues analyzed at www.one across.com. In the event that you get stuck, OneAcross will help you out and no one is the wiser.
Rumors and tales have spread throughout the last century that some marriages have become stronger and some have failed because of the addiction to crossword puzzles. Have a score to settle or a little vendetta? Just hide your enemy’s crossword puzzle.
Let's say that you’re really bored and up to a new challenge. Spend twenty bucks on the World's Largest Crossword Puzzle, with a six foot six square grid, 91,000 plus squares and 24,718 clues, it’s guaranteed to never leave you clueless!
Hazel Warren of London, England claims that she actually forgot to prepare dinner for her family one night. Others like Hazel say they’ve been late picking up the kids from school or late for work, all because of the rage over “Sudoku”. Sudoku, which means "single number" in Japanese, is essentially a simple logic problem with layers of hidden complexity that can draw the solver in to the point of obsession and they claim it's all the rage in th UK.
Isn’t it lovely to be single? You have the freedom to sort out the logical assumptions on your own, celebrate your prowess of completing the puzzle yourself and you never have to argue or debate over your choices. If you can’t take the puzzle with you, it will still be there in the safe place you left it when you return home.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
The Free Spirit
When I think of all of the things that make life easier as a single person, the list is long. It certainly doesn’t stretch from here to the moon and back, but all I ask for is to eat what I want and when; wear what I want to wherever; sleep whenever I want- wherever; and be the sole owner of the keys.
For many of us, it makes life so much easier in a stressful world. Maybe some of us just haven’t found that one companion to live with like two peas in a pod, however, I prefer to be human and not a pea.
I can count on one hand the people I trust behind the wheel, otherwise I’m a backseat driver in the passenger seat. The older I get, the further I grow away from that child who felt safe and fell asleep on the back seat when my father was at the wheel. So, is it all about comfortability or simply a matter of trust?
As a creative spirit, I’ve discovered that it’s nearly impossible to share space with others within the same household. The need for focus and serenity is too great. Many people with creative talents, whose careers are guided by their muse have difficulty finding peace and compatibility.
Do we feel the need to live like there is no tomorrow, knowing that eventually there won’t be one? Not exactly. Most of us just prefer the right to come and go as we please.
. . . Single 101 :)
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