You Can Keep Your Maiden Name

Recently, I came across an article covering an in-depth study on women suffering from identity crisis, stemming from taking their spouse’s name. The psychological effects on some women can evolve into a crisis, where they actually begin to feel that they don’t even know who they are anymore. The real crisis or potentiality of such is the fact that this remains a critical issue for many women and even for men in some cases
Women who have chosen to take their husband’s name can range from those who don’t really see it as an issue at all to those who fear that if they don’t, their children’s identity will be lost or confused. Those who have elected to keep their given names see several advantages. Some believe in the importance of carrying on the identity of their lineage; some simply love their name, have had it all their lives and wouldn’t change it for any reason; and some don’t want the hassle of the legal red tape, which can get even more complicated if a woman divorces and wants her maiden name back.
For the past several decades, this has been a huge problem for many divorced women. Taking back their maiden name left them non-existent, alienated in a world who used to know them as Mrs. Someone, leaving them as a ‘nobody’ with zero credit history. Whether your changing your name back to your own or taking his, still remains a challenge and an inconvenience.

Let’s make a list: A new driver’s license, passport, social security card, checking account, savings account, 401k plan, stocks, certificates, bonds or mutual funds, credit cards, subscriptions, membership cards, wills, mortgages, car loans, any legal documents and on and on.
Barbara in Texas says, “I didn't change my last name when I married, partly because my law license and diplomas bear my maiden name, but also because I didn't feel like changing or discarding the name given to me at birth.”

Tom from Oregon says, “Whenever my wife calls someplace regarding the kids (doctors, daycare, etc.), she has to say, ‘This is Jane Smith, John Doe's mother.’ Me, I can simply say, ‘This is Tom Doe, John's father.’ I've had problems picking up prescriptions for my wife when she can't because of our different names. My wife also carries a copy of our marriage license on her at all times.”
Angie in North Carolina writes, "The best solution I came across was a couple that picked a brand new last name for themselves. I have three sets of friends who did this!”
Christine from Ohio says, “I’m still stuck with my ex-husband’s last name. When we divorced, I feared that I would have to start all over again, from being able to buy a home to getting credit in my maiden name.”

Julia in Chicago writes, “I've seen lots of variations in my time as a professor, and my current Dean has a hyphenated name (but his wife does not!). I've talked about it with my partner and she, like me, shares the publishing dilemma concern.”
Which leads us to yet another name issue- to hyphenate or not to hyphenate. The moment we all heard that Hillary would officially be known as Hillary Rodham Clinton, it raised the validation level for many married women. I’m sure old Lucy Stone would have had plenty to say about that.
Lucy waged a passionate struggle for equal rights for women, a struggle that continues even in today‘s world. In existence since the early 1920’s, The Lucy Stone League is dedicated to equal rights for women and men to retain, modify and create their names, believing that a person's name is fundamental to her and/or his existence. I wonder what Lucy’s mother’s maiden name was? I suspect that Ms. Stone would have been a hyphenator.
However, over the past 10 years, fewer women have been keeping their maiden names. According to a study by Harvard economics professor Claudia Goldin, based on Massachusetts birth records, the number of college-educated women in their thirties who have kept their given name, dropped from 23 percent in 1990 to 17 percent in 2000. Those traveling the traditional route by taking his name, join the ranks of 90% of women getting married today in the United States.

So . . . single? If you said yes, wasn’t it great to wake up this morning without having to deal with all of that mumbo-jumbo? Isn’t it wonderful to know who you truly are?