Their Stuff, Your Stuff

I met my second husband at a local radio station where we both worked. We were on the air at the same time. He was AM. I was FM. Our love affair bloomed, exchanging glances through the studio windows.

To say that I was shocked when I first visited his apartment is quite an understatement. With that said, I’ll spare you the details. I had never been inside someone’s bachelor pad before and suddenly began to appreciate that my first husband never lived like a cave man. At this point, I had been divorced for a few years and in the process of building my second house. Was I ready to share my dream home with Java Man?

The day he moved in, I learned a lot about myself. As each box and “man thing” was carried into what would no longer be just my space, I cringed. Was I already set in my ways, too eccentric, too feminine with my décor? Would I have the interior design skills to blend my Country French furnishings with his 1960’s rattan patio group that still possessed the musty odor of his parent’s basement?

Mr. Friedman, now my ex-husband, has been a Beatles fan and collector of Beatle’s albums and memorabilia. However, his life-sized poster of the band from the “Introducing the Beatles” photo sessions, became a challenge for me. Me, who also loved the fab four since childhood, inspiring my songwriting skills and musical tastes. At eleven years of age, I actually believed that I would marry Paul McCartney as soon as he dumped Jane Asher, but Linda Eastman beat me, along with millions of other women to the punch!

At twenty-eight, there I was, married to Mr. Friedman instead and there stood Paul staring back at me from my living room wall. How would I break it to my husband that his beloved Beatle’s poster, under glass in it’s sturdy brass frame, was more apropos for a college dorm? Paul, George, John and Ringo eventually found a home downstairs in the recreation room with the rattan furniture.

I do feel fortunate that my ex was a Beatle’s fan and not a beer can collector. Even Dodi Fayed had a huge wall covered with his ball cap collection. Hmmmmm, I wonder what Diana thought of his Paris bachelor pad?

Years after my husband and I parted, he emailed to let me know that accidentally, the poster fell and the glass shattered. I sometimes wonder if the poster would be cool hanging in my music studio today. It’s surprising to find how much I have changed.

It can be a wild and wooly battle for territory and personal space with a spouse or live-in partner. If you’re still on the fence about staying single, take your time and be observant. When he moves in and wants to display his little plastic soldiers from his childhood on the window sill, run as fast as you can!